Suzy Esstman's initial encounter with her brain tumor disease was less swift and dramatic than Sen. Kennedy's. In the summer and fall of 2003, she began to forget words.

Suzy's friends initially wrote it off to stress. After all, she and her husband, Don, of Chesterfield, were caught up in planning their son Andrew's bar mitzvah. And all the while Suzy was keeping up her dizzying volunteer schedule serving on projects, events and steering committees.

But after the bar mitzvah, Suzy's troubles continued.

Finally, a friend suggested she see her doctor. Blood tests revealed nothing but the doctor suggested an MRI.

The news was devastating. It was a brain tumor.

Ten days later biopsy results brought more bad news: the tumor, an astrocytoma, was inoperable.

"Unfortunately, what families get when they are told this news is not a lot," Don said. "Your treatment options you have to figure out on your own. The doctors here are fine. They are good doctors. But in terms of having all the knowledge that you need – you have to do your own research.

"We were all over the Internet. We sent her films to almost every brain center in the country that does research trying to get the best diagnosis and information on the approach we should be taking."

They learned Suzy's options were limited.

"Unfortunately, her tumor was so large and so diffuse they couldn't operate," Don said. "That was the conclusion from doctors all over the country. The first line of defense on these tumors is to get it out. Your only other choices are chemo and radiation, and those are hard on the body."

Suzy eventually elected to take radiation and chemotherapy with questionable results.

"The doctors weren't clear about whether it was helpful or not," Don said. "It seemed to slow things down but unfortunately as one doctor told us, 'The natural progression of these tumors is they ultimately overtake you.'"

Suzy's trouble with words continued. She had a hard time reading. "That was very frustrating for her," Don said. "Here's a very active woman who once gave public speeches but who now couldn't remember words. It's hard on the family to watch – and it's hard on the person. She knew the changes that were going on."

Suzy lost her peripheral vision and had to quit driving. Steroids she took for the swelling in her brain changed her physical appearance. "She went from a size 2 to a size 10 in a matter of months," Don said. "Her face was swollen, and her stomach was swollen. That was very upsetting for her because she was a beautiful woman."

Suzy died July 8, 2007, at age 44.

She had remained positive and optimistic to the end. "She would not ever talk about her own death," Don said. "She always believed that she would beat it, and she kept fighting to the end. She kept thinking a cure was going to come."

The Esstmans (from back left): Don, Andrew, Joe and Laurel.

As Sen. Kennedy embarks on his battle with brain cancer, Don Esstman offered simple advice to the family:

• "You have to have a lot of strength."
• "You have to have belief in God."
• "You've got to have the support of friends and family."

And he adds:

"I think you have to be your own advocate. You have to be out there and looking and the best place to find things is the Web. There are a lot of resources out there. Unfortunately, it's up to you to find the information, make the call, contact people and send them the stuff ," such as patient's test results.